Couldn't take it any more, huh?  All those complaints about how you never stop to ask for directions?  The military won't admit this, but that's why we have GPS in the first place.  Nobody's gonna make ME stop and ask for directions!, they proclaimed in the 1970s, before ordering billions spent on satellites.

First decide how much to spend.  GPS units range from under $100 to over $700.  Do you want something just to help you get from point A to point B?  Or something that plays music and videos too?

Now onto screen size – recent models come in "normal" and widescreen versions, which cost more but are easier to work with if you have hot dog fingers.

Next up:  voice prompts.  Most speak directions like "turn left in 100 yards."  Fewer offer Text-to-Speech (TTS), meaning they pronounce street names ("turn left onto Sesame Street").  This can be rollicking good fun:  Some units tell you to turn onto "How-ston Doctor" intead of " Houston Dr.," for example.

Also look for changeable voices, with options like "British Male," "Sexy Australian Female," or "Harsh Female German Taskmaster."  Now you have two women in the car telling you to turn around you missed your turn you stupid idiot.  Yay for technology!

Units with voice recognition won't understand  "Shut up – I know where I'm going," but commands like "Go Home" or "Find Restaurant" can be activated without taking your eyes off the road.

Also important is a good routing engine – this prevents the unit from taking you out of the way, choosing routes with U-turns, or insisting "you can't get there from here."

A related feature is quick re-routing and detour calculation, which automatically re-calculates a new route after you miss a turn, instead of insisting you turn around and get back on the original route.

Most units offer choices between "faster time" and "shorter distance" routes.  Better ones add "route avoidance," letting you specify that interstates (for example) should be avoided.

Another term to know is "Points of Interest" (POI).  GPS companies pride themselves on how many thousands of pre-loaded POIs (like restaurants and gas stations) they offer.  Better still is "custom POIs," which lets you save your own addresses to their internal list.

Some units even let you add maps or extend storage using memory cards.  Others can dial your cell phone using Bluetooth or play music through your car stereo with a built-in FM transmitter.

Lastly, the newest whizz-bang feature is real-time traffic information.  This service is usually free for a few months, then requires a subscription to a satellite radio service like XM.

See gpsmagazine.com for more details and product reviews.  Garmin (garmin.com) and Magellan (magellangps.com) specialize in GPS technology and their products are generally considered among the best.  TomTom (tomtom.com) is well-known for their lower-priced units, and other electronics companies (like Sony and Harman Kardon) have gotten in on the game too.

Thanks to technology, your wife will never again complain about being lost.  And to salve your bruised ego, just brag to all your buddies about your new gadget.  You know, the one you bought because you wanted it yourself thank you very much.